Having Faith

I realize this could be taken a number of ways. But for this post I’m looking at it like this: have faith in the universe, it knows what it’s doing. Now, learning to trust in the knowledge of the universe is one thing, and can be very difficult, particularly when it’s handing you a big shit sandwich. But life can’t always be good, and how can we appreciate and understand the good without experiencing the bad. Of course I’ve been on the receiving end of that nasty sandwich many times. While it’s being served it’s really rough, and usually involves major decisions and lots of tears. But once it’s over, once you have traveled through the pain and disappointment, very often when looking back you can see the wisdom of the universe.

Personal example….After completing my MFA I received a full-time, two-year temp position at a college in San Antonio. Odds were in my favor that sometime in the two years the position would become permanent and I would get it. So my hubby and I uprooted from East Texas and moved. The school was fantastic; the person in charge of the department was psychotic. San Antonio was a great city, but I would never get anywhere under the reign of the department head. But I still wanted to stay, and stay I would have had the universe not intervened.

First the economy tanked. Then the college started making cut backs, and began a hiring freeze. Twelve of us began at the same time as temps, eleven of those jobs were made permanent. Guess which one was left as a temp? A two-year temp at the end of her two years… Bear in mind, I am a dance professor, and full-time college dance positions are hard to come by. They are also often the first to be cut in difficult times.

First there was a lot of crying, then I pulled myself up and started figuring out how to make it work without a full-time faculty position. I was getting it together when another job fell out of the sky in July (remember classes start in August). But this job was in Houston…. I got the job and had to move to Houston in two-weeks. That is another story….

The Houston position is pretty great, and I’m about to complete my forth year teaching here. Of course there are issues, but overall it’s a big step up. I have much more control in scheduling, deciding what I teach, and the overall running and development of the department. And Houston is a dance city, allowing me to build my own dance company. It is also close to where I went to grad school, so I know a lot of dancers, which also helped in the development of a company.

I see this as a case in my life where the universe stepped in. If it hadn’t intervened I would have stayed in San Antonio and never gotten the opportunities that Houston provided. Now, Houston is a difficult place to live for me. It’s big and crowded and hot and humid. But it is in the problems that I look to see what the universe is trying to teach me.

Another quick example- When I first moved to Houston I was desperate to buy a house. I had dreamed of buying a house for years and I was so ready to do it. I found a realtor and started looking at houses, and was pre-qualified for a mortgage.

Hubby and I searched one particular area of Houston without really knowing the city very well, and found a house we were ready to make an offer on. As we moved forward in the process there was a discrepancy with my student loan that was missed in the pre-qualification, and it caused me to not qualify for enough money, and due to the move my husband had been unemployed so we could not apply together.

I was devastated. It would be years before I could buy a house. Again, more crying, and another move to another rental. Thanks universe.

As it turns out, I am so glad we did not buy that house, or any house in that area of town. Now that we have been here a few years we realize we hate that area of town and never go there, let alone want to live there. And that house did not have a tree in the yard. That is now a deal breaker for me. No tree, no house.

We love the rental we moved into, which is on the opposite side of Houston. We took this rental simply because it’s big, has no carpet, and has a lovely backyard with lots of trees. In living here we learned that we love this area of town and do not want to leave.

Just last night I pre-qualified for a mortgage, and the house hunt is now beginning in earnest, and I know I’m going to get one this time. And we’re searching in the area we currently live in rather than somewhere else. So really, thanks universe. Thank you for not letting us move into that other house ‘cause that would’ve been a huge mistake.

Now I am really trying to listen to the universe and let it guide me on the house hunt. I am also remembering to have faith that the right house will come along, and I will be able to recognize that it is my house. It’s out there waiting for me, I just have to have faith.

Sometimes holding that faith is very difficult, and it involves a high level of trust. Sometimes that faith isn’t telling you what you want to hear, but you have to trust it and listen. Learning to listen to the fun stuff is easy. Learning to recognize and hear the yucky stuff is hard. I’m no expert, but I do my best every day to listen to the universe, and have faith in its knowledge.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: